Divine Qualities: Tolerance

Q. Prabhupada told us to "Chant Hare Krishna and Be Happy". I have been chanting the maha mantra since two years and I am following the rules and regulations but I am still very unhappy. I guess that there is a problem somewhere with me. My life is a mess. Krishna gives me too many tests which I can't handle. I have been struggling with my spiritual life and I am tired now. I am helpless.

Q. Can you also please describe more on how to depend on Krishna? I will be very happy to take shelter of your instruction on this.

In Digest 127 it was already discussed how one can depend on Krishna and remain undisturbed in case of unexpected reversals and difficulties in life.

Q. I live in a devotee community and often feel that I don't know how to associate with others. I love them and try to serve them but all too often I just don't feel emotionally safe in their association. I don't feel free to be open in case they hurt me and thus I am wasting my life constantly holding back (defending like a kicked dog). I am desperate for some clarification on this point.

Q. How should a neophyte treat the ups and downs in their material activities, considering that at this stage there is only realization but no implementation?

Krishna answers this question for our benefit in the very beginning of Bhagavad-gita (2.14):

matra-sparsas tu kaunteya / sitosna-sukha-duhkha-dah
agamapayino 'nityas / tams titiksasva bharata

Q. In case of King Chitraketu, King Chitraketu accepts the curse of Parvati Devi very happily, Parvati Devi cursed him without knowing full details and Vidura also went to pilgrimage without getting disturbed, both of them did not retaliate/oppose, did not get disturbed and did not try to correct the situation. While in case of Sisupala, Krishna tolerated insult without getting disturbed but after 101 mistakes, Krishna punished Sisupala. I clearly understand that we should not lose our composure and should not get disturbed but how to decide when to react and when to accept it or let it go.

Q. I always thought that the spiritual and dharmic role of a person is to be calm and never get angry, under any circumstance, and sacrifice one's own life before resorting to violence. However, in the Mahabharata, Krishna keeps saying so many times that it is a coward that backs down from a war. At the same time, He says that war is inevitable when all other options are exhausted. However, I don't understand this because whenever He says this, the war is referring to protecting one's honor.

Q. I have a question relating to Avanti Brahmana narration found in Canto 11 of the SB. His conclusion was that the false ego is the cause of his suffering - is it the same meaning that is conveyed in Bg.14.19?

The story of Avanti Brahmana is narrated by Krishna to illustrate how one should soberly tolerate the disturbances and offenses caused by others, and remain fixed on the spiritual path. Note that the conclusion of Avanti brahmana was that the mind, not the false ego, is the cause of one's happiness and distress.