How we can help improve our devotee relationships? What we do with others should be what we do with ourselves. Or, what we do with ourselves will be what we do with other people. As we move along, our life may bump into another person's life, and by associating together for some time we will come to know more about them…We may not know the circumstances of life of someone who is coming from a different culture and upbringing, which explains why they are carrying on in certain ways. The ways they are carrying on are exhibiting their spirituality or shortcoming that makes the present make-up of that person.

We are carrying some misconceptions, most certainly. If we weren't, we would be self-realized. Therefore, based on whatever particular conceptions of life we have, that's where our thoughts go and that's where our actions go. According to the conception of self, our actions will follow. We get easily distracted when we are chanting, or, in a broader sense, we get distracted from the path of attaining pure devotion. What is the category of these distractions? That depends on the self conceptions we carry - what we think we are and what we think we want to become.

From a lecture by HH Romapada Swami on Srimad Bhagavatam 7.9.8-15 titled Prayers by Prahlada Maharaja, Delhi Jan-Feb 2001

In the practical application of seeing our position in devotional service there seem to be paradoxes or contradictions. One such pair is 'Humility and Self-Confidence'. A good place to begin is to define what humility isn't? A good definition is both inclusive and exclusive...So what humility isn't?

When humility is from the spiritual platform, it immediately gives rise to what seems to be its contradiction: self-confidence. They seem to be opposite, at least from the material perspective. Someone who is humble may seem to lack self-confidence, and someone who is self-confident may lack humility. So, how can one have both humility and self-confidence, which are apparently contradictory?

Now that we have done this exercise of self-honesty -- the appraisal of 'where I am' in the spectrum of devotional service -- the next thing is how do deal with that, with spiritual conception. That's where this seeming contradiction or paradox comes: There is this necessity of acceptance of the reality of our current position and, at the same time, a seeming paradox of self-improvement, wherein we want to go beyond our shortcoming or limitation to the realm of pure devotional service...

Truthfulness is the last leg of religiosity in Kali-yuga. So be truthful. It's a value that people still hold. That's kind of a worldly honesty. For a devotee, self-honesty is to be honest with oneself that, "This is where I am at", rather than projecting some pretense because we want to be a good devotee. We may be struggling inside, but we project as a good devotee. Srila Rupa Gosvami has given us a clear picture of the standards of devotional service. So we can contemplate, "Where am I in that spectrum?" And, the process of devotional service will help us with that.

According to Srila Bhaktisiddhanta's teachings, instead of finding faults in others, we should try to look inside and contemplate on how to improve ourselves. That will become an agent to help us improve the situation outside of us in a similar way. So, how do we look at ourselves?

In order to enter into selfless devotional service, and sustain it, there has to be a spiritual conception of life: a spiritual conception of self, a spiritual conception of what the goal of my life is, and a spiritual conception of the means to reach the goal. Otherwise, if I don't have a spiritual conception, I'm going to have a material conception. And if I have a material conception, I'm going to have a whole bunch of material expectations. As long as I have material expectations, I'm not going to be satisfied, and because I am not satisfied, my devotional service is going to be intermittent. There are going to be material obstacles, and I'm going to desist, because I'm going to be more concerned with those material obstacles.

A faithless person hears but has some uncertainty: "Well that's very interesting, but will it work for me?" We probably all have experience of this with either ourselves or other persons who we're trying to help with their faith in God who feel: "Oh, I'm so lowly and so disqualified, it can't work for me." It may not even be explicit, but there's something in their hearts that says that. "It's good for some people because they're this kind, but I'm that kind." Faithless. Where there's faith, one sees that the real qualification is universal. You just have to be spirit soul. That is every one of us!

We are all carrying some conceptions of life. It's not a like a bad thing; it's just life. The mind carries different conceptions of life. What are those conceptions made up of? They are made up of a series of experiences that we have had before this moment. That gives us a conception of life, and we think we have to live our life with those conceptions. Otherwise, we think we are like a ship without a rudder. But, we are not totally mindless; we are very much involved with our minds! Those conceptions we carry in our mind are very important for us and we are very much invested in them. We don't want to let go off those conceptions.